"During a difficult time while serving as a missionary, I started to believe that despite my obedience to mission rules and hard work, I was a constant disappointment to God because of my weaknesses. In dark moments when I was viewing God as a harsh judge, I would think about my earthly father and how deeply he loves me. I knew that I could always turn to him for love and comfort. But then I realized that it is impossible for my mortal father to love me more than my Heavenly Father does...
"...When we feel ourselves slipping into the "despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression" that President Benson described, we can ask ourselves if we may be holding onto a lie about ourselves or about God. We can seek out the truth in the words of the scriptures and the living prophets. We can pray for the ability to discern between truth and error. Empowered by the truth, we will find the strength to keep Satan at bay and experience the joy of having "the truth of all things" abide in us (Moses 6:61)," (Jennifer Nuckols, "Truths and Lies," Ensign, Oct 2009, 62-65).
I am thankful for my mother and the love she has offered me no matter what I did wrong. I am thankful that she showed me that love, because it helped me better understand that God loves me no matter what I do. She has repeatedly told me, "I cannot even imagine what it is like to be God, because I think about how much I love you, and I can't imagine how anyone could love you anymore than that, but I know that he does."
This has been one of the most important lessons in my life, because I realize that I am not disappointing to Heavenly Father because of my weaknesses. He knows the truth about me and who I am, and even if I'm not a great person all of the time, he knows that I am an overall great person.
It might seem like a silly example, but I sometimes I think of kittens when I need to convince myself that God isn't disappointed in me. Kittens love to play and cuddle and they're just the cutest things little creatures you could have wandering around your home. But sometimes, especially when they are sleepy, they'll dig their claws into you while they purr. It's not like they want to hurt you, and they don't know that it hurts you. It's just something cats do. I've been clawed plenty of times, and even though I don't like the pain, I still can't help loving the kitten. So I figure that God knows that sinning is something people do, and it's not like most of us wake up thinking, "How can I sin today?" It just happens as a result of living and being mortal. But He still loves us. So there's my silly example for the day.
Choose to Cleave
*Read my first post, "Preface," for more information about Cleaving
1 comments:
And let me tell you something I'm learning more, the older you three get...I'm getting to know Heavenly Father better. Simply because I am becoming more aware of my impatience with "JUST OBEY ME!" "JUST DO WHAT I SAY!!!" "IF YOU'D JUST LISTEN TO ME, THINGS WOULD BE EASIER/BETTER/WHATEVER!!!!!"
And when I'm frustrated (not so much with you...sorry to burst your bubble), I can see Him in my mind's eye, just with a slight smile, and loving eyes...and he's too kind to repeat back to me exactly what I'm DEMANDING of my daughter.
Which is huge.
Because you three are way better at life than I was at your stage...and yet, He still lets me go about my business, making my own decisions...letting me learn things no matter how long it takes me to do it..
And not once has He said any of that stuff towards me with the irritated/angry/frustrated tone that I use on you and your sisters.
And now I want a kitten.
Thanks so much. ;)
But serious...thank you for this blog. It's heaven sent for me.
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